I still recall the sickening nausea I felt in the aftermath of media reports that X Factor judge and alleged musician Redfoo had in a Double Bay hotel in August. It wasn't caused by accounts of the pub violence, but washed over me when, never having heard of the guy, I foolishly decided to find out.
Carlo Sands
Prime Minister Tony Abbott has called for 鈥渁 mature debate鈥 on whether to raise the GST 鈥 and, make no mistake, he'll shirtfront any economic girlie-men who try to stop it.
Cairns Woolworths caused outrage recently by stocking a singlet with the Australian flag and the phrase 鈥淚f you don't love it, leave...鈥
Now I know things seem pretty bleak in this country right now, but we must remember there is always hope. After all, in 1967, an Australian prime minister entirely disappeared without any warning after he went swimming 鈥 and Tony Abbott loves to swim! So don't give in to despair 鈥 it might happen again. The key thing is to not lose all hope.
So it turns out the 鈥渟word鈥 confiscated during the September 18 terror raids in Sydney's north-west 鈥 you know Australia's largest terror raids ever 鈥 . That would be the 鈥渟word鈥 the cops had placed in a plastic bag that the media made such a big deal out of to terrify us all with the 鈥渢hreat鈥 of a 鈥渞andom beheading鈥. Plastic. It was a fucking plastic sword.
I often wish this government would cut the crap and just admit it governs for the rich and is determined to shift as much wealth as possible into their hands. We'd be saved their mind-boggling attempts at 鈥渓ogic鈥.
Like their argument that we have a budget emergency, so we must absolutely take action now or our children and our children's children and our children's children's children will all die horrific deaths from starvation, so that is why we must abolish the mining tax.
Evil is one of those strange things isn't it? It is a very particular characteristic that always seems to be found in people who just happen to be in places our governments really want to bomb.
Immigration minister Scott Morrison has allegations by Labor Senator Sue Lines that the federal government was using the 鈥渨ar on terror鈥 to distract voters from its cruel and deeply unpopular budget.
And fair enough, it was a ridiculous comment when you consider the huge number of terrorist attacks Australia has been subjected to in recent times.
The thing that really gets me about Australian politics right now is not just that we are getting so severely screwed, it鈥檚 that we are getting screwed by such dingbats.
I mean, you cannot check the news on any given day without being smacked in the face with the latest utter insanity from one, or frequently, multiple members of the Abbott government.
鈥淓verybody needs to be part of Team Australia,鈥 said Prime Minister Tony Abbott, raising one very big question: which prick gave Abbott a DVD player and a copy of the South Park makers鈥 joke film Team America?
Coz that kinda shit is not funny. Seriously, this guy makes laws. Don鈥檛 go fucking around with hilarious practical jokes like this, coz next thing you know it will be a real government program.
As, indeed, .
Amid asylum seeker polices that grow crueller and more surreal by the day, plans to turn the unemployed into virtual slaves and Christopher Pyne let loose on education, there is, without a doubt, one big question in Australian politics in 2014.
And that is: What drugs is Clive Palmer on?
And where can we get some? 鈥楥oz that bloke is clearly off his chops. You never know what the hell he鈥檒l pull next, which makes me worry about what will happen when he finally comes down. Some poor aide is going to have to explain what he got up to.
You know, sometimes it seems these days all I ever do in these columns is rant angrily about terrible suffering and misery. So I thought I'd try and change it up this week and talk about Gaza.
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